Agra Day 2 - Taj Mahal - or a lesson in being hopeful...

15 October 2013


After an eventful first day in Agra, I woke up at 5:30 am for the sunrise view of the Taj Mahal. This in itself is quite incredible: after so many weeks of jetlag related sleep problems <<< caused by late working hours and the fact that to be able to sing over 3 hours 6 days a week i do need minimum 6-7hours of sleep so if no sleep arrives by 5am i have to stay in bed till at least midday>>> in Agra I had - twice in a row - a breakfast!  and a breakfast before 9am! And as no sleep on Monday 14/10 made me so knackered that I was fast asleep by 11pm, ergo able to work happily on Tuesday despite an early start.

I got ready in 5 minutes and took a cycle riksha to the gate - I could have walked as my hotel was barely an 800 metres away from the main entrance open for sunrise, but come on - Taj Mahal? I had to arrive in style :) I was welcomed by an already 100 strong queue (women & men in separate lines) but I was still at its relative beginning.. Problem was the sun rose (or it seemed so as night became day in moments) and the door kept on being locked & queue kept on growing.. I read in a guidebook that seeing Taj at sunrise is the best way to avoid crowds.. Well if hundreds and thousands of people who entered the gate is not crowds, i really do not want to imagine what crowds means..:)

We entered thru the metal detector gate and while passing thru it I met a lovely Australian lady who was there with her Indian husband & his family... It took barely seconds: we saw it and we stopped... Everyone did.. You do read that it is amazing and breathtaking and all & most incredible thing in the world, most beautiful monument etc, and you do expect something unbelieveable and yet when you
 actually do see it all you can do is just stop and stare in awe... It stares quietly back at you and smiles in its grandeur.. And you keep staring, shy and unable to move or say anything.. Pure awe..then you notice the sun peeping out in a red halo on the side of Taj and the whole sight becomes even more fantabulous...We all kept staring and clicking pictures with anything that was able to commemorate this sight a d slowly moved on the approach the monument from one of its sides and enter the main
mauzoleum.. In the melee of visitors I lost my Australian friend and also missed a chance to get a

Last night in India or the triumpf of the unexpected:)

My last night in Delhi, after four months of the unexpected last minute crazy adventure of singing in one of the world's best restaurants, was a night to remember. My incredible stay on the subcontinent sadly came to an end, but in what style! First, due to the visit of the emperor & empress of Japan (I know!), at my last performance we had an unprecedented large number of VIP-s & political celebrities, & show went on & on for much longer than usual. Finally after goodbye hugs with my pianist, I was planning to happily go to bed & get up early to have a cup of chai at dawn in one of old Delhi's cafés. My colleagues, however, had a different plan.  It turned out one of them celebrated his birthday a few days earlier & so it was time for a mini staff party, with me as a the guest of honour, as I never made it to any one before: always a trouble getting me back home because as adventurous as I would like to be, I was still a single white chick in India. Everything got absolutely maniac due to VIP presence & the restaurant was still packed way past 2 am so I waited packing my suitcase & struggling not to fall asleep. Finally around 3:25 am M. called me saying I should come outside & wait by the staff gate. The security folks were more surprised than if they'd seen an alien: a white female guest popping out, on her own, trying to explain it is ok, yes that time of the night, then jumping on a motorbike with one of the staff! And just to make it absolutely clear - I like adventure, but I am not foolish. Everything was arranged to make it safe for me. I knew  I was surrounded by people I could trust and taken well care of. (India is not as dangerous as it sadly seems). We arrived at M's place & I realised I am the only woman & of course, the only one not speaking Hindi. That did not stop the fun, because music & dancing is an international language. Soon enough, everyone was singing, dancing & laughing to some of the most famous Bollywood pop hits, including P, one of the oldest & most experienced waiters, whose famous dancing skills were mentioned to me a few times before. Everyone unanimously agreed I absolutely have to have a last dance with him, or rather a half an hour long bollywood dance off where I tried to, with all my desperate moves, defend the white race. In one of the mini breaks, the whole dancing party moved to another room  for a moment, only to, as I found out, wake up another colleague, R. with a bang & make his early shift a bit more miserable. Around 5:30 we wrapped it up & as promissed I was driven back to the hotel with a protection of three of the party revellers, who even though from Delhi, got lost a few times on the way back. We wandered around the streets waking up to a new day, with Hindi music blastic from the speakers. I arrived back knakcered and with a humongous headache from my colleagues' cigarette smoke but with heart full of incredible memories. I got to know a few people in the way I would never manage if I had not followed a crazy spontaneous plan & braved to do something unexpected. Yes i missed my chai, and some sleep, for sure, but I saw a different side of dawn in Delhi & experienced something I will never forget!

I will miss watching India, not the star treatment OR the story of a crazy sleepless night :)

28 Nov 2013

Last night was a nightmare... Back to my worst jetlagging days..
It all started with water pipe noise coming right from the wall above my bed. This noise has been there for ages but in a subtle form, last night it became a monster growling thru the night and drilling the imaginary yet felt so really! hole in my head.. I tried, i did. I swear! I tried all i could. I took a strong allergy tablet that i have been taking (i know not good, but lack of sleep is worse!) on and off for past month.. No help. I tried to use my stoppers, i tried calming music, the hole was getting bigger and the noise was worse... I could not take it any more: there is a state of mind when you are deprived of sleep (and also aware that this will mean missing out on the day and screwing up all your careful plans for this last few days!) when you feel as if your brain was a mashed potato and you would give a kingdom and more just for a second of sleep..They used to torture people by depriving them of sleep and yes it is proven to drive anyone crazy..i would give anything - Just for shutting down that noise: arrrgh and arrgh again in the pipes.
I called for help- so they know i was not being crazy.. The engineer and duty manager who came in around 6 am were surprisingly shocked that i have been putting up with water noise for so long, and the growls made them shocked too.. So i was not crazy! "My mother had me tested!" I could have quoted my screen hero Sheldon Cooper (from the tv series Big bang theory), but instead i begged them for help and they said they will see if they could do anything.. But we all knew they could not! This room should not have been given to anyone.. Let alone someone who professionally needs sleep! Because vocal chords are muscles i physically need sleep to be able to sing a few hours every day... Without sleep my voice gets week and as any other muscle can get damaged easily.. Imagine going on a marathon after a sleepless night- you are likely to trip & sprain an ankle.. Exactly! So i  begged for them to do something and continue trying to sleep.. But it was only getting worse.
I had no choice - by 7:25 i called the guest service and  begged to be put thru to the duty manager, whom i then begged to give me another room just for a few hours, just to sleep. A lovely lady dressed in hotel sari came in with a spare key. Nearly in tears - annoyed that i will lose another day, that in this week i not only got sick then had a food poisoning of the century and vomitted for 3 hours only 3 days ago and now this! I mean seriously?! - i asked her to sit on my bed and listen.. " tell me could you sleep with this? Please just listen so you know i am not crazy and asking for something extra thatcis not necessary.."  This time i was grateful for the pipe growl - it came even stronger and scarier and i could see genuine compassion in the eyes of the beautiful lady. She took me down the corridor and opened a door of a room so quiet that i though i would start kissing pillows, and after kissing them for some time, like a calmed baby, i fell sweetly asleep by 8am only to get up around 15:00...

But helas my day plans were screwed up.. Gone..


I had a cup of tea, checked my voice - normal "morńing" ritual.. Exept this time done at 4 pm...

With a face of a little sad angry beaver, i got dressed and took a tuk tuk to the pharmacy to get some serious sleep medication. Of course i am scared it will get me addicted and make matters worse but do i want to go thru the night like that again? And losing a day? HELL NO!!!


It took me only a second.. Walk out of the hotel and thru my scarf breathe the early evening dusty Delhi air... And get it again: how i miss just walking in India, being an alien and watching the world around.. Getting thru the queue in the shop, having some friendly stares but nothing too attacking, chosing a face wash and saying good evening to the shop keeper who already recognizes me..

That is what i will miss the most: just being here, watching India around me.

Not star treatment and being locked up like a princess

Not sleeping till 4 like a super star..

No... If i could, i would have walked out at 7 and got a chai and just sat at a corner to watch India around me.

This is what i will miss the most.

We are our choices - artist adventure continues despite its uncertainties..

Nov 27th 2013

Today while getting ready for another show - one of the very last ones during my Delhi adventure - I got an unexpected call from one of the recruitment agents. I must have been looking for some temp work back in London, as beginning if this year was very tough, and I left my business CV in one of the agencies. This time, however; they were calling not about some temping but about a permanent role...whether I would be interested. Agencies do not call a person unless they are sure that that person is good for the job, and would get an interview; otherwise it is just a waste of time and they make money, not wastet ime. After all they are only after money.. I know that because one of my first jobs when moving permanently to Britain was being a recruitment agent & making over 70 calls per day just to make the target. That is why I knew that he was serious and the job was there if i wanted it...

I did not even think of it - i just automatically said no thank you; part time yes or a contract but not full time office, thanks for your call blah blah blah. Gosh, I said at the beginning of 2013 that if nothing changes I may have to give up my dreams and go back to full time office work. It was a very tough beginning of the year, and such tough spring that yes i knew i had no choice but to pack my bags and accept this unexpected offer from far away India i swore i would "never ever ever go to".

Now I just simply said NO, and I am happy with what I so automatically did.

But let s be honest - i m scared... 


I dont want to be poor - yes i want to do what i love because i firmly believe being unhappy & 
wasting your life on what does not matter is the biggest sin of all, and so i tried at the very late age to    turn all around and become a professional artist.. I keep trying and it is damn super tough at times but still I dream to have one day my safe place one day and hopefully be a wife and a mom too, albeit a crazy energetic mom ;-) 

Yes I am scared.. But at the same time I know i am far from the maja i was at the beginning of this year, and so since i am new and different things must also be different. I hope  i have something little and humble but worth showing to the world..I will continue freelancing, even though I am fully  aware of how tough it can get in the artist world.. And I do remember that Van Gogh did not sell a single painting and  Eva Cassidy got famous only after she died of cancer alone in hospital.

It hit me once again what i just so automatically did : said NO, made a CHOICE i have to live with, 
and with its consequences... We are our choices, and i just made one... And i do very well remember me saying "maja you may have to give it all up if nothing changes.."  
    
But things changed - I am changed, and ready to give it one more year.. Albeit stronger and more realistic.. And hoping I will be proud of myself and make my friends who so graciously support me doing what i love proud too. 

One of them, knowing of what happened today, wrote to me : "Some people are so poor, they only have money! You are not poor". He also reminded me it is good to know I am in demand and so I have the back up if I ever needed to use it.

And after all with so much support and love and adventures, how could I ever  be poor? :) 

Agra Day One - or a lesson in the INCREDIBLE :)

<< Starting this blog in the middle of my trip, in the middle of Agra because my hotel has laptop with keyboard (mine does not work :( and so it goes: >> 

REMEMBERING (as someone just reminded me recently;) - thank you! :)  TO ALWAYS HAVE
AN INCREDIBLE DAY so here it goes, sleep-deprived mind, in no particular order:

1. When you resist, you get obstacles... When you open up, you get open arms - about me & India (still polluted, crazy, noisy etc but I start dancing to it;), and about many things in life :)  or life in general :)

2. Travelling - albeit accidentally - to Agra / Taj Mahal at the end of Durga Puja:
Negative: not a single, even worst class, train ticket back on over 10 trains back so i have to take a long & monstrous journey back on a (bleh) bus..
Positive: Witnessing hundreds of dancing celebrations of happy face painted revellers, costumes, and many other miracles such us e.g. camels right in the middle of the street.. Positive - as usually - definitely overweights the negative..INCREDIBLE!

3. On a side note, camels were fun but sights of goats, elephants, horses, donkeys, cows, buffaloes and dogs coexisting happily & even eating together are a common occurrence now..

4. On a side note 2 (excuse us, no sleep last night - see point 6) - in over 2 months i have spotted literally 3 cats! I was told Indian folks believe if you are very evil now, thou shall be reborn as an 'evil dirty animal' called a cat.. Unforgivable.. Wondering if I should start a miao crusade for my feline brothers... to consider after sleep, but I am ready :)

5. And the event of the day is awarded to Point nr 5: 
Children: so open, believing in themselves, fearless, positive! where & why do we lose it? Let s not!  I am in the middle of the bazaar in Agra. Two boys: maximum 3 and 4 year old each notice me with wildest smiles in the world, run to me far away from their amused dad, say hi in their own very special way ( children lingo is SO universal, right?) , smile (oops I did it again - how could I not let them do anything now?:) & say: 'photo, photo!' at which point I take an iphone shot of both of their super happy selves & quickly display it to assure them my memory of them was acceptable  (far more than that!)  They run away even happier & more bubbly  The whole area around me is smiling too Children, ha?! 

6. No sleep as train so early... but travelling in a taxi through virtually empty Delhi streets was definitely worth it  :) Eerie! so quiet.. until we reach the station that is!

6. If you are about to complain & say your life is bad & you cannot do anything blah blah COME TO INDIA where 3 year old kids have the persistence of most boring tele sales guys ( i did not need that elephant key ring but SERIOUSLY, i mean seriously how could i say no? my resistance levels were low, damn it, this kid caught me in my weak moment!) , & it is definitely they harshest environment ever where fittest wins & you can only count on yourself.. YET they keep going and going! INCREDIBLE!

7. Again if you think you have a right to complain & are lazy & do not want to change anything imagine my cycle riksha driver: although he made 10 or more times less than my indeed lazy & moving only his feet fat car driver, he cycled up the hill many times (got lost, oh well - we saw camels, come on! :) with my 8 stone cargo at the back, all the time singing & cracking jokes in broken English :) and SMILING! If you have a toilet & running *(& HOT!! oh the spoiled ones :) water, you are much much better off than him ( and 30% of the world population in fact) so come on, open your mouth as well - especially that you probably have white, not broken or totally black like him, teeth (can you afford a dentist too? you are so rich!!!! :) and SMILE TOO! And if you don't, I swear I ll kick your bum to gently remind you that you are a) being silly b) BLESSED!!

8. And on a serious note, today I saw a cow painted in yellow polka dots.. I mean WHATEVER IT IS, it COULD GET MUCH WORSE ;) (& they say they cherish cows ;) - so come on, SMILE - YOU ARE BLESSED! (INCREDIBLE RIGHT?:)

9. OK on a sad side note, I changed my breathing mask pristine white cotton filters this morning and after a few rides, they are dark grey.. in one day! No, i did not ride a bike.. i was a passenger inside a car! & walked a few times.. Pollution - you think you cannot see it, then you see it and.. NEVER WITHOUT A MASK! (my INCREDIBLE mask ,that is :)

10. Yes we missed the sunset but still the view from a rooftop restaurant was - wait for it - wait for it - INCREDIBLE right :) and I had BANANA CHOCOLATE PANCAKES! which my five star deluxe hotel does NOT have!!! reading an amazing book (' Being Indian' by P. Varma ) and overlooking Taj Mahal...

11. Whenever in Agra I answer the ubiquitous question of 'Where I am from?' confusing the interlocutor by giving them my both nationalities (Polish & British), I do not hear anything about beauty of London town, but nearly every shop keeper hearing my gypsy-life confession, starts... greeting me in Polish! not just one word, but whole sentences! Much much more complicated that those known by friends in UK who have Polish girlfriends or co workers! Either these Agra boys are super multilingual, or some Polish connection here escapes me.. Note to self: To investigate further.. hmmm.. :)

Let me just say it: Sleep please come, then let us have another INCREDIBLE (albeit exhausting:) day!

Happy Monday :)

PS Below the two lovely boys who ran towards me :) See point 5 - definitely a winner!