Nov 27th 2013
Today while getting ready for another show - one of the very last ones during my Delhi adventure - I got an unexpected call from one of the recruitment agents. I must have been looking for some temp work back in London, as beginning if this year was very tough, and I left my business CV in one of the agencies. This time, however; they were calling not about some temping but about a permanent role...whether I would be interested. Agencies do not call a person unless they are sure that that person is good for the job, and would get an interview; otherwise it is just a waste of time and they make money, not wastet ime. After all they are only after money.. I know that because one of my first jobs when moving permanently to Britain was being a recruitment agent & making over 70 calls per day just to make the target. That is why I knew that he was serious and the job was there if i wanted it...
I did not even think of it - i just automatically said no thank you; part time yes or a contract but not full time office, thanks for your call blah blah blah. Gosh, I said at the beginning of 2013 that if nothing changes I may have to give up my dreams and go back to full time office work. It was a very tough beginning of the year, and such tough spring that yes i knew i had no choice but to pack my bags and accept this unexpected offer from far away India i swore i would "never ever ever go to".
Now I just simply said NO, and I am happy with what I so automatically did.
But let s be honest - i m scared...
I dont want to be poor - yes i want to do what i love because i firmly believe being unhappy &
wasting your life on what does not matter is the biggest sin of all, and so i tried at the very late age to turn all around and become a professional artist.. I keep trying and it is damn super tough at times but still I dream to have one day my safe place one day and hopefully be a wife and a mom too, albeit a crazy energetic mom ;-)
Yes I am scared.. But at the same time I know i am far from the maja i was at the beginning of this year, and so since i am new and different things must also be different. I hope i have something little and humble but worth showing to the world..I will continue freelancing, even though I am fully aware of how tough it can get in the artist world.. And I do remember that Van Gogh did not sell a single painting and Eva Cassidy got famous only after she died of cancer alone in hospital.
It hit me once again what i just so automatically did : said NO, made a CHOICE i have to live with,
and with its consequences... We are our choices, and i just made one... And i do very well remember me saying "maja you may have to give it all up if nothing changes.."
But things changed - I am changed, and ready to give it one more year.. Albeit stronger and more realistic.. And hoping I will be proud of myself and make my friends who so graciously support me doing what i love proud too.
One of them, knowing of what happened today, wrote to me : "Some people are so poor, they only have money! You are not poor". He also reminded me it is good to know I am in demand and so I have the back up if I ever needed to use it.
And after all with so much support and love and adventures, how could I ever be poor? :)
Today while getting ready for another show - one of the very last ones during my Delhi adventure - I got an unexpected call from one of the recruitment agents. I must have been looking for some temp work back in London, as beginning if this year was very tough, and I left my business CV in one of the agencies. This time, however; they were calling not about some temping but about a permanent role...whether I would be interested. Agencies do not call a person unless they are sure that that person is good for the job, and would get an interview; otherwise it is just a waste of time and they make money, not wastet ime. After all they are only after money.. I know that because one of my first jobs when moving permanently to Britain was being a recruitment agent & making over 70 calls per day just to make the target. That is why I knew that he was serious and the job was there if i wanted it...
I did not even think of it - i just automatically said no thank you; part time yes or a contract but not full time office, thanks for your call blah blah blah. Gosh, I said at the beginning of 2013 that if nothing changes I may have to give up my dreams and go back to full time office work. It was a very tough beginning of the year, and such tough spring that yes i knew i had no choice but to pack my bags and accept this unexpected offer from far away India i swore i would "never ever ever go to".
Now I just simply said NO, and I am happy with what I so automatically did.
But let s be honest - i m scared...
I dont want to be poor - yes i want to do what i love because i firmly believe being unhappy &
wasting your life on what does not matter is the biggest sin of all, and so i tried at the very late age to turn all around and become a professional artist.. I keep trying and it is damn super tough at times but still I dream to have one day my safe place one day and hopefully be a wife and a mom too, albeit a crazy energetic mom ;-)
Yes I am scared.. But at the same time I know i am far from the maja i was at the beginning of this year, and so since i am new and different things must also be different. I hope i have something little and humble but worth showing to the world..I will continue freelancing, even though I am fully aware of how tough it can get in the artist world.. And I do remember that Van Gogh did not sell a single painting and Eva Cassidy got famous only after she died of cancer alone in hospital.
It hit me once again what i just so automatically did : said NO, made a CHOICE i have to live with,
and with its consequences... We are our choices, and i just made one... And i do very well remember me saying "maja you may have to give it all up if nothing changes.."
But things changed - I am changed, and ready to give it one more year.. Albeit stronger and more realistic.. And hoping I will be proud of myself and make my friends who so graciously support me doing what i love proud too.
One of them, knowing of what happened today, wrote to me : "Some people are so poor, they only have money! You are not poor". He also reminded me it is good to know I am in demand and so I have the back up if I ever needed to use it.
And after all with so much support and love and adventures, how could I ever be poor? :)
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